You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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