If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420