I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i dont even know how to be here
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.