Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol