What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize