I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️