Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I have a black eye again and dont know why again