new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
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I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
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Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.