i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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