Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
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my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Drunk is not a location!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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