atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
