She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
