I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
