If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.