reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell