i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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