I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
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i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
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Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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