Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
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His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
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And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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