I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
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Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
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I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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