The maid of honor just puked.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize