Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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