i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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