Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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