God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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