Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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