Whatcha textin bout Willis?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize