Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
