apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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