there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
