fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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