Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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