we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize