don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
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Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
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I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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