there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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