One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
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Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
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You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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