just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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