have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you