either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?