watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.