I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Girls should come with a carfax report
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?