dude i'm inner monologue high
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize