Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him