He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off