; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?