i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.