I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
