Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
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