i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
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You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
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It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room