So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
