Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
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after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
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Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.