It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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