Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.