mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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