Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I supernannyed him into submission
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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