i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize