There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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