Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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