While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
