Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
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he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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