I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
im holly from the hills drunk
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted