you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house