It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
